When men kiss their daughters
Earlier in the week, Tanzanian singer Diamond Platnumz came under a lot of heat when a picture of him kissing his daughter Tiffah on the lips surfaced online. While a few of his fans seemed impressed by his role as hands-on father, the majority criticized how he chose to show his affection.
Later in the week, a similar photo of a young man who identifies himself as Jahmycahn Michael Marley appeared on Facebook. In the picture, he is seated his daughter aged about four of five on his lap and is kissing her on the lips. Again, the photo stirred a lot of heated emotions.
Most termed it as “wrong” and an “abomination”. One angry mother even posted a comment on the photo saying that if she found her husband and her daughter in that position, she would call the cops on him.
Seeing as most of today’s generation did not grow up being kissed by their parents so seeing it happen can be uncomfortable to watch. Pictures of parents and children kissing are not a new phenomenon. When it is a mother kissing her son, people are impressed but when the tables are turned, the same people are appalled. One wonders about the double standards.
This is the stance the young father takes asking people to leave him alone.
“I plan to peck my child till eternity. That is my way of showing her love and the bond we have. I have done a great job since her birth so if you feel you can be a better parent with better parenting skills kindly apply them to your children,” he tells off the naysayers.
WHAT IS RIGHT?
Should fathers and mothers kiss their children on the lips? Experts think that they shouldn’t.
Julia Kagunda, a counselling psychologist and a lecturer at Daystar University in Kenya, says that it is a matter of boundaries. Every relationship, she says, should have very clear boundaries including that one between a parent and a child. And these boundaries, she says, should be laid down very early.
“A three year old girl is a child but she absorbs a lot of what is going on around her. When you kiss her on the lips, you may be communicating the wrong messages. Respect her boundaries,” she says,
It is important that a child is shown love and affection but she says that there are other ways of doing this that do not involve kissing on the lips.