Ever wonder how people cheat on their partners and not get caught? Well now one long time adulterer has spilled the beans on how he does it.
The Reddit user who goes by the name midget_porn_aint_bad, appears to be a regular poster on the R/Adultery forum on the site, and has posted a number of articles about cheating.
‘It only takes one slip up,’ he wrote. ‘Here are some tips, to minimize the chance that you get caught red-handed.’
he man listed not only how to stop yourself from getting caught, but how to find someone to have an affair with and deal with the money side of cheating. So, what advice did he offer would-be cheaters?
Tip 1: Chew gum and smell fresh… but not too fresh
Some of his first tips revolve around personal hygiene, and ensuring you aren’t caught at that way.
‘Keep gum in your car at all times. Shower after… but don’t lay on the soap so much that you actually smell GOOD. What guy smells like soap, except for about an hour after showering?’
Tip 2: Create a story and stick to it
He urges cheaters to have a plausible story ready for where they are going to be when cheating and stick to it.
When it comes to hotels, food, and other expenses, he suggests always paying cash, even if you don’t share a bank account with your partner.
Tip 3: Don’t let your phone out of your sight
One of the most important things, according to the Redditor, is ensuring your phone is encrypted and safe from your significant other.
‘Number one way to get caught. Your phone,’ he wrote. ‘They’re gold mines to snooping spouses. Get a password on your phone. Make sure it’s encrypted.’
‘Establish a routine where you don’t just leave it laying around for people to look at. Don’t get wasted, pass out, and leave it open for anyone to see.’
‘If you suspect there is or will be snooping going on with your phone, throw it in the toilet and say it was an accident. Dead phone, get a new one. Yeah, a good phone is expensive, but not as expensive as a lawyer, divorce settlement, etc.’
Tip 4: Don’t stray with a work colleague
The cheater also listed ways to find someone to have an affair with, and what not to do. For example, he advises not cheating with someone you already know, like a colleague.
The man also tells people to stay in shape if they want to cheat, in order to find the best ‘affair partner’, and to make sure they find someone who won’t tell their friends.
Tip 5: Don’t even try to outsmart a private investigator
The Redditor’s guide to not getting caught while cheating has proven popular, with many other people on the forum commenting and thanking him for his advice.
However he does note that there is always a risk when cheating, and that nothing can guarantee you won’t get caught.
‘Getting caught is a risk we all take. It could happen to you, and it could happen to me,’ he said.
‘If your spouse gets a private investigator involved, you are done. You are not smart enough to cover your tracks from an experienced investigator, and neither am I. No use crying over spilled milk now. Prepare yourself. You played the game, you lost.’