Robert Mugabe’s most funny quotes

Zimbabwe’s former President Robert Mugabe has died aged 95.

His death was announced by his successor, Emmerson Mnangagwa, who mourned him as an “icon of liberation”.

“It is with the utmost sadness that I announce the passing on of Zimbabwe’s founding father and former President, Cde Robert Mugabe,” Mnangagwa wrote.

Mugabe, the world’s oldest head of state before his resignation in 2017, was the only leader Zimbabweans had known since independence in 1980.

During his 37-year rule, Mugabe attracted a great deal of controversy, mostly because of his colourful use of language.

Below are his funniest quotes: 

1. Dear ladies, if your boyfriend did not wish you a happy Mother’s Day or sing Sweet Mother for you, you should stop breastfeeding him.

2. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men do not walk around with X-ray machines to see inner beauty.

3. Some women’s legs are like rumors, they just keep on spreading.

4. When you kiss a girl from another nationality, do it well because you represent the whole country

5. Girls, learn to take care of yourselves. Some men will use you, use your body, ruin your reputation and then marry a beautiful woman and get born again. And as if that is not enough, use you as testimony in church.

6. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a broke man who is extremely good in bed.

7. Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the devil cones along and gives you a girlfriend.

8. Dear sisters, don’t be deceived by a man who texts you “I miss you” only when it is raining, because you are not an umbrella.

9. All I hear always is, “No sex before marriage.” If that was God’s plan, then you would receive your penis or vagina on your wedding day.


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