By Zack Mayul:
With this generation, some parents will either break down this brick built mind ideology of over pricing their daughters, or ‘sell’ them off at a throw away bride price or maybe, to take what is available in the hand if they are not willing for yearly instalments.
As far as am concern about this dot.com generation, where my brothers run away from responsibilities, and where the entire community toil to sponsor one son to study. How is it even necessary to satisfy one’s need before that of the people he wants to help? Where does self-actualization goal come in here?
Through struggle from primary, high school, and at the university, this boy has been helped by his father and mother in the village, brother in the USA, and his sister if there is any. Aside from that, cousins, uncles, or aunties have been giving a hand into making him a scholar, too.
When he graduates and get a job, all these people will all look up to him to divide his salary into equal halves. Apart from salaries, they will expect him to marry a decent girl from a known family because this is what the community requires him to do. A girl whose her father had been a wrestler, chief, or a traditional lawyer, or maybe a neighbor if he is lucky.
If he is lucky to choose a girl of his choice, a girl that he had known for long, well and good, or if there isn’t appropriate one in his long list, then bad luck. What they will just do, is to hand pick one among many that put on kitenges; ascertain themselves that she is the right one for their son.
The in-laws, on the other hand, would not mind what he is, as long as this is a sent from heaven opportunity and need to capitalize thoroughly: demand an abnormal bride price and life move on. Period!
During price bidding, if the dude didn’t use the back door; some parents would just act like the supermarket – fix bride price, forgetting what their daughter would eat, wear, or where she will sleep. After the marriage ceremony is over, the dude officially starts handling this girl’s problems, and her entire clan’s problems as well.
Something very strange about this funny marriages is that the receiving donors (girl’s parents) of the wealth never get richer at all.
With millions that have been flushed into family account after the negotiations, the biological parents to the girl take less than some mushroom and fostered guardians or curfews!
Worst of it all is that whatever ‘THING’ you marry in the name of a wife become a big problem to you – especially if she is a semi educated or uneducated girl at all.
First of all, she would demand to live in a posh house in Nairobi or Kampala or Khartoum, drives a posh car. She will start buying expensive make ups, perfumes, and go to expensive boutiques to do her shopping, forgetting that you sweat day and night to fill her account.
After that, if at all she has a hollow brain, she would start collecting rubbish and firing you with the venoms she gathers from the so called friends, or become a vector, carrying troubles from one house to another.
In that case, you don’t need to expect anything in this dude’s bank account. No saving, no going back to school for another degree or masters, and no other developmental items in his life. His only achievements are kids and wife.
If he gets confused along the way because he has a little wealth, he will add on another second wife or third or fourth, and his dreams start advertising themselves on a black and white billboard.
What can he do next? The only thing that he will be waiting is the day for his retirement, or start petty stealing from his boss to maintain his extra-large families.
With all these, where on earth; I mean, even if all parents are not the same; how do you convince a peasant son to risk his life and marry your daughter?
Dear parents, since you have become liabilities; some of us are going to marry from the neighboring countries. Girls that their parents would not ask for *akolchok, athiam xot köu, etc, etc. Hope we will meet when your daughters are affordable.
To my sisters, am seeing the signs of husband inflation creeping in. Deal with it, or join us in the fight against this.
Best regards from me.
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