A note for all the single Junubin (South Sudanese), especially the ”wanna-be”, irresponsible-husbands.
(I know it is a long article, but i hope you’ll find time to read it)
In the last few months, been sitting down trying to say something about how our Junubin Sisters are viewing the new world of parenthood, especially my poor sisters in the west (you young women down here inclusive), BUT!!!
First up, let’s clarify our terms. A widow is NOT a single mother. Her husband died, defending the sovereignty of our beloved South Sudan (God bless the beautiful Republic of South Sudan). Lumping her in with ”single mother” word, is an insult to his memory, to her and to her children. So don’t even think of doing it. Especially war widows. If you ever find yourself referring to a woman whose husband died on a battlefield as a single mother, you should immediately pour Tabasco sauce into your eyes, because you deserve to weep all the tears I’m certain she has.
On the other hand, divorced mothers are also NOT single mothers, why, although a huge flashing PROCEED WITH CAUTION sign is definitely in order. We’ll get to these charming ladies later. LOL!!
Now, let’s get the definition VERY clear:
A single mother is a woman who had a child outside of any established relationship, or a relationship so fragile the thickest retard in the world ought to have been able to see bringing a child on board was a F@#KINGTERRIBLE IDEA. this kind of Single mothers are bonafide idiots and here is why you should never even consider dating one:
First, this is a woman who clearly doesn’t give a shit about her child’s well-being and future prospects. Children of single mothers do poorly on every imaginable scale. they have more emotional problems, experience more stress, and are more likely to grow up poor, they have lower educational achievements (except the likes of Mr. Pres. Barack, and Dr. Ben Carson), lol, and experience way more behavioral problems than children who grow up with married parents. Depression, suicide, drug abuse, jail and psychiatric medications are all more common in populations of children raised by single mothers.
Ladies, please, PU-LIZZZ!! this is why abortion exists! (Tell your shitty-horny boyfriend), If you screw up and get pregnant, don’t screw up even more and bring an innocent child along with you! The rest of YOUR FAMILY and/or relatives who have to LIVE with your f@@ked up, emotionally scarred children will PAY you to have a freaking abortion. Be sensible, for the love of Nhialic (God)
Second, single mothers are clearly really, really shitty at making life decisions. Having a child out of wedlock is pretty much the number one thing you can do to fuck up your life. You can pick up an alcoholic addiction, drop out of high school, rob a bank (if you want to), or decide to write the great South Sudan Conflict history novel, to finance yourself on your credit cards. All of those things can be fixed. You can go to rehab, get your high school certificates,(KCSE, or PLE, SSCE), or get parole, But once you have a child, you cannot take it back. It’s done!
Third, single mothers profoundly misunderstand men. There are few men who are overjoyed to spend their blood, sweat and tears on some other guy’s genetic offspring.
This shit is real. A modern Junubin man will NEVER turn up his nose at a woman with some sexual experience who might have learned a trick or two from previous lovers about what some south Sudanese men REALLY like, or more likely, she learned how to FIND OUT, but the majority of them men would like to see a NEW sign on your uterus. No previous occupants. y’all know it, When a Junubin man picks a wife, he wants to know he won’t be competing with some random baby daddy who was there before him.
A woman who cares so little about her children, her own prospects, and her future husband is NOT going to make a great wife. Sorry. It’s just not going to happen. A great wife and mother places the needs and happiness of her husband and children ABOVE her own needs, and in doing so, finds her greatest happiness. So politically incorrect to say so, I know. But a woman who makes YOU the center of her life is going to be a great wife. Oh, and in return, you have to make HER the center of your life.
See how that works? Yeah. Not really a huge mystery. You live for one another. You both put each other’s happiness above your own. Exactly what single mothers do NOT do.
Dear my Junubin single men, please,
On the whole, give single and ”divorced mothers” a pass. And for the love of God, if you decide to give one a spin,or kick and chill, Please, STAY AWAY FROM THE CHILD. That child is aching for a man to call his or her own daddy. Every child of a single mother lies awake at night in bed, longing for the Daddy he sees in photos Album, on the wall standing beside his/er mom, Facebook photos and even in the lives of the other kids at school. He wants you so badly. Don’t let him fall in love with you if you didn’t mean to stay with his/her mother. You’ll break his heart, or hers. Little girls long for daddies as much as little boys.
That’s the real danger. The children of single mothers have already been wounded so deeply by the lack of a responsible father. To give them some hope that it might be YOU, and then leave them is unspeakably cruel. It’s the worst thing you can do. You can’t save those little innocents, but you can save them from hurting even more.
It’s just not worth it. Love you ALL!!
By Deng A. Giet (Radio presenter, City FM)