If it’s a good match, does it matter how soon you get naked?
Having casual sex is fairly common place in modern culture. But if you’re truly looking forlove, must a one-night stand always end with the “walk of shame” or can a one-night stand ever lead to a walk down the aisle?
We wanted to know: Can a real relationship (and even marriage) ever come from sleeping with someone right away?
Host and YourTango Senior VP of Experts Melanie Gorman assembled a panel of experts to get to the bottom of this question, gathering notable biological anthropologist and author Helen Fisher, divorce coach Liza Caldwell, author Cathleen Miller, and behavioral analyst Steven Sisler.
The experts agree — one-night stands CAN lead to true and deep connection (sometimes) … but more often, there is a lot of emotional risk involved.
So what do you need to consider?
In the video above, the panel tackles this topic from various sides: Does having sex right away help two people build connection or hinder it completely? What’s really going on when we think we’re “in love” with the person we just had sex with? Does having sex obligate us to give a relationship with this person a try? And, What about “the morning after” (or a few weeks later), when your true personalities start revealing themselves (and not always in a good way)?
Based on research she conducted with Match.com, Dr. Fischer maintains that successfulrelationships can (and do) occur from this dynamic. The research found that 35 percentof respondents began meaningful relationships that started as one-night stands. Wonderful for that 35 percent, but what about the remaining 65 percent?
One-night stands thrust us into intimate connection with someone whom we know almost nothing about.
“You see the person, smell the person, taste the person, touch the person. You get to know a lot about a person between the sheets,” says Dr. Fisher. “Of course, it’s a huge escalation point if it works out well, and a horrible breaking point if it goes out badly.”
There’s a great deal to consider before going home with that good looking person from the bar. And what felt like a fun night can quickly turn awkward and uncomfortable the next day if you don’t know what to expect. So, check out the video above to learn what you need to know.
And if you need help processing your feeling about a one-night stand you’ve had, reach out to one of the experts on the panel.