Marriage refers to the union of blood by a man and a woman. Simply, it’s the state of being a husband and a wife. Are you married? How much did it cost you to have your sweetheart with you? Furthermore, it is natural and obvious that once a baby boy/girl is born, one day that person in adulthood will be ready for a marriage partner as stated in the book of Genesis 2:23-24. “For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”
This plainly explains that love is a natural gift from God and law which human beings have to abide by. Now people have turned marriage into business to the extent that some youths miserably remain single for the rest of their life. Aren’t people breaking the law of the Creator, God? It is now a strong source of resources in which fathers count their daughters in terms of dowry gains.
In fact, I am motivated to say it is a slideway of selling girls to the husbands. They should minimize to the standard that can be afforded by everybody. Let it be the interest of the groom to pay more when he is able.
People forget about the couples that they will also need resources to maintain their life. Expensive marriages always favored the parents and relatives of the bride because the huge amount of dowry brought is shared among the relatives.
And that makes people so greedy to the extent of being involved in getting spouses for daughters in an expectation of large income.
Furthermore, people look at your social and financial status. They want families with a golden background so be ready if you are from that lucky family. They are targeting you soon. Youths are in dilemma which one to go with either live without wife or snatch somebody’s daughter. Youths are in dire need of help from the community leaders on this issue. The government should also look into it critically because at times couples ended up using all the resources that they have for their future. This contributes to the corruption in the country.
People should understand that a new family which has been formed needs foundation and developmental futures. It is better to put a limited or fixed amount of dowry that will not cost couples so much. Married partners need to plan to take care of themselves as they produce children along the journey of life.
The common amounts of dowry in Aweil East state is 30-50 cows excluding the number of bullocks. In Lol state is 3-20 cows but the husband takes responsibility fully. In Aweil state is 50-100 cows that have no bargaining. In Rumbek and Warrap it is 150-300 cows excluding the bullocks. In Bentiu it is 30-50 cows. In Bor, marriage is ranging 50-80 cows. In other regions it may be less or more.
Apart from dowry prices there are some usages during weddings especially in Bahr el Ghazal region. It is actually varying in south Sudan at large. Marriage is merely being exaggerated in Juba-city. Weddings are always conducted in Freedom Hall and hotels which are expensive places in order to gain fame and prestige as a part of show. The money people used for renting places and vehicles can start the foundation of building the house of those wedding couples.
The governments should put the orders and limits to equalize the issue of marriage. It will bring inter-marriages among the tribes and hence peace in the communities. The in-laws should consider the type of groom their daughter is getting married to avoid difficulties in life.
If they admired just the dowry without looking behind the real person, it will be hard to understand them. And that can result into divorce which is contributing to the number of street children. If the marriages were properly budgeted then couples cannot produce children whom they will not manage to raise up. If people minimize the cost of marriage expenses, family cases will also reduce. Let the girls feel free in choosing their marriage partners instead of you looking for them a mate.
Believe me that all your family problems cannot be solved by the mere dowry. Some of the problematic situations in the family need a practical decision from the head of the house. Better mind about the future of the new family than looking at it as the source of wealth.
There is another problem intensifying in those expensive girls some do not produce and others divorce their husband for jumbo excitement. Be contented with a partner that God has given you. Create her/him into that better person you want instead of divorce.
Never wish you were married to ex-friend. It was God’s plan for you to be on that world so just decorate it. If you love your partner it means no failure to provide all her needs. In nutshell, marriage with future is the best than using all the resources and remaining in hardship.
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