These tests, though unconventional, really do help you figure out whether you’re wasting your time with a douchebag or not. That being said, some of them are a bit funny if you think about it. Check them out below.
The Doberman Test
Take a good look at what the guy you’re dating is saying. Is it smarter than what you’d expect the neighborhood dog to say? If he’s smarter than a Doberman Pinscher, you’re good to go. If the dog has more brains than he does, you should date the dog instead.
The F*ckboy Couture Test
Do his pants seem like they’d squeeze the life out of most testicles? Does he dress like a Kanye wannabe? Are half of his dating profile photos shirtless snaps? If he dresses like a f*ckboy, he most likely is a f*ckboy. This is especially true if he splurges on Hood by Air, but doesn’t even live on his own.
The Cheese And Whine Test
One thing I learned about guys is that the ones that tend to dole out cheesy lines and whine about how they don’t get a fair chance tend to be the worst ones to be in a relationship with.
The Alpha Male Test
Another thing I’ve noticed is that the worst relationship partners tend to have a need to be seen as strong “Alpha” guys and often will have that sickeningly messed up idea that the only way to be “Alpha” is to dominate, control, and use women. This is why I invented the Alpha Male test.
The Baby Jesus Test
This may not be the way you see things, but for me, I view a guy with strong religious beliefs to be a cause for caution. This test is simple. Ask him what he believes religion has to do with a woman’s place, sex, or a woman’s right to choose.
If he starts lecturing you about Baby Jesus, say “Hallelujah” that you found out he was a misogynist now, then look for someone else you can date instead. Baby Jesus might cry, but I promise, you’ll be celebrating in the long run.